Hello hello,

Thanks for stopping by again. Today’s challenge – Treading carefully through a mine field.

The first female singer I absolutely loved is Chrissie Hynde. Before I learned about Janis Joplin, Kate Bush or Annie Lennox. The coolness, her being a rocker and being better at that than so many men. Maddona – who reportedly looked up to Hynde – perhaps brought the (debatable) “courage” to bring sex to the forefront, but for me, it was always Chrissie Hynde that comes up when talking about female rockers in a men’s world (among a few others of course).

And why do I bring all this up? Well, of course, it’s because the Internets caught fire after a quote was posted by this magnificent singer.

You know, if you don’t want to entice a rapist, don’t wear high heels so you can’t run from him. If you’re wearing something that says ‘Come and f–k me’, you’d better be good on your feet…

Instead of listing all the things that were said about Hynde by everyone and their sister (and they were plenty…), I’ll just share THIS column from SPIN magazine.

The over-arching theme of the backlash was – understandably – the rape victim’s responsibility.

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Disclaimer: I have thankfully never been assaulted sexually and I won’t pretend to “know how it feels”. I have one thing to say about sex – “NO MEANS NO“. No excuses. No buts, ifs or whys.

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What did Chrissie say? Did any of it actually justify rape? Did any of it actually mean that “some rapes are justifiable”? One could come to this conclusion. But one should not.

We love to pretend. We love to think of ourselves as enlightened, modern and open human beings. But can we stop pretending for a short moment? Can we be honest with ourselves? Let’s try to answer these questions (and you can answer it for yourselves, or here in the comments section):

  • Would you let your daughter wear anything she wants?
  • Would you wear just anything to go anywhere?
  • How safe would you feel about these choices?

And finally:

Is it really a matter of victim’s responsibility? Or is it a matter of us, living in a society, where “provocative” dress code is, in fact, an invitation to some perverts?

Why don’t we get off our high horses for a minute and make the best decisions we can. This is not putting an ounce of responsibility for a rape on the victim. It’s taking responsibility for our choices, and I for one think that Chrissie Hynde did just that.

Not more.

Let me know what you think.

7 thoughts on “Chrissie Hynde Vs. The Pretenders

  1. What bothered me most about her remark was how many women in the comments seemed to agree. It’s revolting really. Someone else put it really well, and I’ll paraphrase…
    Should you not have a big, nice house with nice decorations because someone might rob you? YOu could leave your front door open, but that does NOT excuse someone entering (violating your space) the domicile without invitation. If at any time you want a guest to leave, you have the right to ask them to.
    Honestly, some of the women supporting her sounded like no more than jealous shrews (jealous of beautiful women who like to show it off). ALso, what about women in burkas, men, children, or elderly who have been raped? Did they “ask for it?” No, because a rape is more about power and violence (and lack of self control on the part of the rapist) than sex. It is not our responsibility as women to police our dress or style because some men lack self control…

    Like

    • Thanks for the comment alienredqueen. I think it all boils down to personal choices. To piggy back on the house metaphor, a big shiny house is a more attractive target. That’s all I’m saying.
      Of course dress code is by no means an open invitation. Rape is inexcusable.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it is, but it is not the onus of the homeowner to be different just because someone else might commit a crime. I agree avoiding risky behavior may help lesson your chances of victimization, but as you essentially agreed, engaging in same said risky behavior should not constitute an INVITATION to victimization. If you went on a date with your woman, would you ask her not to dress too nicely because it might make her a more attractive target?
        I saw a really sad comment by a victim who said she was raped at nine months pregnant. Most women would prob say they don’t feel all that attractive at 9 months. I sure didn’t…lol. But that won’t stop a power/excitation rapist.

        Liked by 1 person

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